Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Mommy Life

Oh my goodness. I am going on about 4 weeks of my children rotating through a serious stomach bug... you know what I'm talking about! The kind that comes out BOTH ends!

To start off this past Monday, it went a little like this...

5 yr old "Mom, I pooped my pants!" with a look of confusion on his face and fear in his eyes.

3 yr old "Mom belly ache" followed by throw up.

Mom cleans up poop, baths boy, changes pants, cleans up throw up, changes girl. Proceeds to clean bathrooms to rid them of all germs because that HAS TO BE where they came from.

5 yr old "Mom, I pooped again. :( " with dismay and sadness.

Mom cleans up poop. Changes pants.

3 yr old "Mom I pee" (NOPE, NOT PEE, POOP... on the carpet right near the entryway! Chunky watery poop. Boy the house sure smells nice)

Mom sighs, pours baking powder on the poop(not baking soda because that was all gone by this point) hoping it'll act the same as baking soda. Nope, sure doesn't.

11 month old wakes up from nap in crib... crying.

Mom gets baby. Baby has had an explosive diaper.(only the millionth one in the past 2 weeks)

Mom changes baby.

Mom realizes there is no more tp left in the house.

Mom realizes there is no Imodium in the house.

Mom realizes this means a trip to the grocery store in the midst of all these explosions of said bodily fluids. CRAP! Quite literally.

5 yr old actually makes it to the bathroom 70 billion more times to explode in the toilet... ok more like 5 more times.

Mom actually has thought run through head, "Maybe the kids should spend the day in the tub."

3 yr old makes it to the toilet for other poops but toots, well they keep coming and every toot should be called a poot.

Dad comes home for LUNCH(yes it is only lunch time...) so mom can run to the store.

While mom runs to the store, mom calls 5 yr old preschool to let them know he won't be there. Hangs up. Then calls again. "is it early out day for regular school?"

School, "Yes"

Mom forgot and is 15 minutes late picking up 7 yr old. Doesn't make it to the store, turns around to head to the school, pick up 7 yr old, then turns around and heads back to the store.

7 yr old, "You took a really long time."

Mom, "Yes, yes I did. wanna know why?" Proceeds to tell why.

7 yr old understands. Thank goodness.

Mom grabs TP, Powerade, Sprite, Bread, chocolate chips, baking powder, Lysol spray, and ADULT Imodium. Why adult you ask?

Store says they don't carry child Imodium anymore. Mom hopes Dr. will give permission and correct dosage of adult Imodium for children.

Mom calls Dr.

Dr. "Nope, don't give Imodium. Give probiotics. Bring your baby in tomorrow morning. It might be giardia. (what the heck is that? thinks mom) Dr. proceeds to review signs of dehydration... none of which applied to the kids."

Mom thinks, "Seriosly, I CAN'T USE this Imodium I just bought for $6 bucks?! I could have bought a lot of chocolate bars with that $6 bucks." and somehow agreed to the Dr's appointment which, by the way, was ultimately pointless. That's another story though.


Somehow... the last hours of the day was a blur... COMPLETE BLUR.

Tuesday was no better...

Today... I'm(me being MOM) still trying to figure out if it has been any better. I even ran out of clean undies for 5 yr old and stuck him in a swim diaper for the first part of the day while I got the laundry going out of pure need.

Stay tuned for the next episode of Crap hitting the fan. Blah! 

**I am trying to laugh this one out but come on! this needs to end!**

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